Genuine Interest and Common Courtesy

Contributed by Eric D. Lussier

"How are you?"
 
"What's new?"
 
"I hope you're doing well."
 
"Is there anything I can help you with?"
 
"Have a great day!"
 
From outside appearances, these types of questions and statements seem to show sensitivity and genuine interest by the inquiring party. But what are the chances that the asker is just going through the motions and doesn't really care what the answer is? I'm going to go out on a limb and say that nowadays, it is high. Very, very high.
 
Some will say that if you ask the right questions, you'll get the right answers. While this indeed may be true, what happens if you aren't listening?
 
I've thought many times about the statement from Stephen Covey that "most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply". So, what if we combined that phrase with the 2,000-year-old Epictetus quote that "we have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak"?
 
What if we remove any self-interest and truly attempt to empathize with the individual that we are speaking to by being sincere and more so, by active listening? I get it, you're busy. We're all busy. But next time you ask someone "how are you?", ask it like you really, really mean it.
 
Perhaps you'll hear what the pain points are on a project. What the difficulties are in their day-to-day work. A common bond while outside of the office. Insight on where they believe the future of their profession is going.
 
That’s it. That’s the post.